I have been pleasingly passing my days at the heavenly oasis also known as Angels Organic Farm which also houses Angels Health Food Institute. My generous and gracious hosts, Ken Brown and Peggy McDonnell, provide me with the perfect setting for feasting in new health information and fully relaxing into the perfect autumn weather within the perfect country setting. Spoiled I am. Sprouts, greens, juices, smoothies, pates, treats and even a bit of cooked vegan are keeping me totally satiated and healthy. My goal before I leave here is to get ellenatkin.com in somewhat decent shape before I don't have time or place to work on it and get more prepared for the road trip. What my hosts have accomplished since I last visited a year and a half ago is substantial. The greenhouse is full of tomato plants and the hoop houses are full of greens. I am blown away by the techniques they are using. We are talking higher vibrations here, Tesla style. They use Ocean Grown in the water which is nothing short of miraculous. There are new landscapes and buildings and more train track and camping sites and outdoor showers and dorms. Last season was the first operational year for Angels with the store and the Institute in full swing.
Angels is a gem of a place. The setting, the program and the price are all the best. Peggy and Ken have spent a lot of time giving away their help and have ended up getting walked on by people and drained of personal energy. I hope it is just growing pains because I have never seen a better facility in my life. I can't understand how anyone could not appreciate it but apparently some staff didn't.
People are such damage cases out there, it is really hard to find good people anywhere. I forget that most people aren't as grounded, centered, free willed, autonomous, intelligent, fair and just as I am. Not that I havn't been on the negative side of all that, I have. I have worked out of it though, so I just think that anyone can do it. I am not particularly interested in helping people though (the worst consequences result).
I can't remember anyone helping me other than finding inspiration here and there. It is something you have to work out yourself.
I keep my center close. There is little to no opportunity for others to sabotage me because I don't rely on anyone else but myself. I am very self sufficient. I have totally cleaned up my finances. I owe no one. I work for myself and can make money from anywhere with the computer.
These are good things and reasons for happiness when I look at the fact that I don't have a home or anything much else but the contents of my van and a bit of storage. At this time, I am happy that I didn't tie myself down. Although saying this after 25 years of getting here raises an eyebrow or two. I could of had a few rich lives in between but instead, I was an artsy intellectual lefty who couldn't find (or wouldn't accept) a good man; read single, struggling, frustrated. oh well, whatever.
Picking up the pieces now of my shattered self. I was reading a book here at Angels by Brandon Bays (a total new age self help guru- oh well) who works on mind body healing which brought me back to the emotional scarring I went through in my early teens. I was totally amoral. I thought that nothing I did mattered or had any consequence on my soul. Although everything inside me told me differently, I purposefully abused myself. Mostly through sex. Not so much drugs or alcohol. I wish my first boyfriend hadn't been such an amoral whore. He totally opened the door for me. I hate myself for walking through it. There are only bitter lessons there. He is still the same.
What's the point of marring this glowing report with this unsavory information on my licentious past?
While I am here I can heal without fear of recrimination or judgment. There is no phony new age spiritualism or adopted religion going on here. Peggy and Ken are genuine people who have a healthy love of God and each other. They are seeking and learning and healing too. And within that framework they have more to offer than any other practitioners I have encountered on my two year raw traveling quest to understand the movement. Check back, I have met a lot of raw people, well known and otherwise.